Complaining is meditation on the wrong thing

Complaining… We’ve all had those days where life gets a little too much and a rant seems acceptable. Sometimes people disappoint us, sometimes life looks like a mess but there’s nothing wrong with venting our feelings, there’s nothing wrong with saying how you feel… Or is there?

We start out with a complaint and realise years down the line that we’ve become complainers. We focus on the negative, we love to play the blame game and our expectation of good becomes so small. And we wonder how did we get here?

Complaining is more than venting. Complaints start from within. Then they become murmurs and then they become a person’s fluent language if not stopped in its tracks. I know this all too well. Not too long ago God brought to my attention a bad habit that I had become desensitised too. I realised I was a person who did not always speak out offence but I would harbour it, chew on it, meditate on it – this is the inward complaining. When you meditate on something it gets bigger.

It amazes me that a whole generation wandered the wilderness for 40 years and was wiped out because of their constant complaining (have a read through the book of Numbers). God had set His people free from Egypt where they were in bondage. They were taken through but God provided for them (Deuteronomy 29:5). They complained about thirst, they complained about hunger and they even wished they had stayed in Egypt, in the ‘comfort’ of bondage. Do you know why God disliked their complaining and He cringes at ours? Complaining is cousins with disbelief and disbelief is lack of faith. Without faith we can’t please God. Our constant complaining tells God the situation is bigger than Him.

In your business, in your family, job and life as a whole, constant complaining is a contamination to your success. When you choose to mediate on the negative, it gets magnified and it becomes your language, which then forms your world. Will you have a successful business if you keep complaining about hard it is? Will you get promoted if you keep complaining about hard it is?

Let’s look at 3 things you should be cautious about when it comes to complaining.. 

1 – Complaining about lost time

First all complaining about lost time is a waste of even more time. We spend too much time thinking about what we should have done and what we could have done. The time is gone! We can’t do anything about it now. I used to be that person. I would say “if only I knew what I know now, back then. I know I would be further ahead.” We need to transfer that misery into the joy of taking advantage of now. Now is the only thing certain. Take time to reflect and evaluate, like looking at the rear view mirror in the car. You need to then look forward and decide what you will do now, that’s looking on the road ahead. If you stare at the rear view mirror you’re at risk of getting into an accident. I tell myself this when I start to feel myself going back to my old ways – do what you can while you can with what you have. 

2 – Complaining when offended

Offence will come, Jesus said this. How do you handle offence? Do you tend to sit on it or harbour it like I used to. Harbouring offence is unhealthy for your spirit because it breeds bitterness and bitterness is a poison that kills the harborer, not the offender. We are allowed to feel hurt and offended. We are human, however because you have great things ahead, you can’t hold onto it.

Pray or pray and express, that’s what I say:

Pray about how you feel, offended or hurt, and choose to let go and let God (Matthew 5:43-48).

You can also approach the person and appropriately express your offence then choose to let go and let God (Matthew 5:23-24).

That means after all is said and done we must choose to stop meditating on it and replaying the video of the offence. Some of us have been through some real situations in our life and it feels hard to move on. This why we have grace and we have the word of God. Asking for grace and strength will empower you supernaturally to move forward and having the word of God gives you something healthy to meditate on instead of complaining.

3 – Complaining in groups

Be very vigilant about the company you keep. The Bible says bad company corrupts good character and similarly negative company corrupts positivity. What is the common language of those you spend the most time with? Your friends influence you and when you decide what type of influence you want in your life, making a decision about the proximity of certain individuals in your life becomes easier.

When you tell your friends about a challenge in your life how do they respond? Are they solution-orientated or do you leave the conversation feeling deeper into the hole than when you started? I cannot boast in having many friends however those I have chosen to have a friendship with all contribute something to my life.

Sometimes complaining and self-pity feels comfortable. It tends to feel better when you’re doing it with someone else. Although it can be a comfortable place it is a stifling and non-progressive place. Don’t allow yourself to sit with a friend remaining in the cycle of complaints. Break that cycle.

I hope this has meant something to you. Don’t be hindered or stop by a complaining spirit. Be great.

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